i m alone !

Never really gave a thought dat wat I would make up wit my life..!Now when I sit n think abt something. it generally reminds me of all the wrong dat I have done. in my life…it reflects back to me..!n give me the result..!Some how I feel Newton’s third law is applicable to this.Each n every thin I do ..comes back to me..wit a opposite force..the way I have hurt ppl..maybe..I get the same back..!in some way of the other..!..Sometimes ppl asks me..wat do I do stayin awake at nit..but..i m unable to answer.!..trust I have no idea wat I do..!Sometimes I sit silent..Sometimes...look at a the wall blank..or may be stare at the computer screen ..n after sometimes realize that..i was silent may be for an hour..but..never thought..dat..!..i would make dis wit my life..now when I sit..i recollect each n every past events in my life..those events..i try to forget but somehow they keep ..Haunting me..!..Telling me..” I m ur past its impossible to forget me”..The more I try to forget the more situations make me remember them. .!

Was quite small wen I joined my first skul..!..VMS the school dat taught me everythin..!dat I m.!.it gave me everything dat I have.!! But it took away ..a lot of things..!dat I didn’t want to loose..but had to.!..it gave me my best frnd..wit whom I rarely talk now..it showd me how frnds can betray u..!..how my frnds betrayed me..!but ..i didn’t stop lovin anyone..!..or..trustin anyone..!..I class 9..16th sept..i took the sip of vodka..!May dat was sum experience..!..the world goin round.!..or is it me.!i could see the Victoria memorial..Upside down.!..!those frnds who accompanied me..then..doesnt even call me 1ce.still I sit back..n think abt them.!.now if by chance I meet them..i can feel that they have moved on..Somewhere…may be..They didn’t ever accept me..as theirs.!..somehow I lost them..!ppl come n go ..in your life..it is u ..who have to be..Practical abt it..!dis truth..my parents told me..long back now ..i understand the meaning of it.!!...it was class 9..wen I felt the first taste of bunking..!..those days were really something to remember n to cherish..!..still miss those hard benches..where we used to sit..that small classroom..where..in the hot n sultry afternoon the teacher shouted ..to their voices…9B the not notorious class in skul..i sat back n enjoyed.!.!.never really thought dat these day really would cum to n end.!.that 1 games period ..in a week..!made us eagerly wait for it.!..!running around the cemented filed…skinning our knees ..shouting kho….wow…!dat was something.!..things changed later..the only frnd I had some how turned their back on me.!..i felt alone..i cried all nit..may be for the loss of a frnd or understandin that wat my parents told me..turned out t be true.!..!..days felt like weeks..!..still had to move on..! n so I did..!changed my skul..!.....thing were new out here..!new friends.!.new everything..!..i felt a relief..!..somehow..!...my past didn’t coincide wit my ..present..!...but..ya I was worng..it did…!wen I came..it whispered in my ears..!..”me aint leaving u.” …rumor…is a grt traveler..!n it was..!....it spread..!like anything…..but I some how managed ..to put the things in the track..tried to find the root of this..was not at all surprised dat ..it was my on friends ..or so called frnds..i felt the need to e alone…I tried but failed..New frnds entered my life..somehow..i mixed up wit them..!...hangin out…chattin..all continued full fledged .! ..my frnds didn’t betry me..!...but now….!...even wit 450 contacts may be more than a thousand frnds ..surrounding…!today ..somehow…I feel LONELY…I FEEL M AGAIN..BETRAYED..I HAVE AGIN LOST MY DIRECTION..DONT KNOW ..WHERE M LEADIN TO.!